


Happy Mother's Day

by Townycod13



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, happy moms day panaceaa owo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 01:57:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14631690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Townycod13/pseuds/Townycod13
Summary: Kyle tries to find the best mothers day for his mother-in-law. It's hard.





	Happy Mother's Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [panaceaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/panaceaa/gifts).



Kyle stared at the shelves helplessly.

Holidays were something of a nightmare in the best of circumstances. Gifts had always stressed him out. Even as a child he'd found picking between meaningless items to be the height of stress.

The good news was that mothers day wasn't normally a day that caused such a headache. _Normally_ , as a child, school would just assign him some project like making a cup or a card and that was that.

When he was old enough to think for himself it had still been a simple thing. He knew his mother. Sheila Broflovski liked things by the book. She was the sort that wanted smiles from her boys, some flowers and a card. Simple. Easy.

That was all when he was just Kyle Broflovski.

Now he was Kyle Broflovski-McCormick and he had a mother-in-law to consider.

He couldn't _not_ get Carol a gift. He'd agreed with Kenny that if they were in town to visit, they should get gifts for mothers _and_ mothers-in-law.

At this point Kyle really wanted to know which one of them had that particular genius idea because he'd very much like to thwack them over the head for it. He wasn't going to review the conversation to find out though, just in case it'd been him.

The generic gifts on the shelves before him taunted him.

He knew _Kenny_ and Kenny liked practical gifts. From time to time he wanted to be romanced but he'd much prefer that Kyle spent money on new pans they needed than flowers. It was on occasion a point of contention between them because Kyle _liked_ buying flowers for his husband.

Was Carol like her son? Practical with money and critical of frivolous purchases? Or was she something like Kyle's own mother and would love nothing better than a frivolous waste of money because the feelings behind it were the important part?

Kyle was at a loss. He picked up a mug that read 'Number 1 Mom!' and weighted how that would look to give to a mother that wasn't his.

He realized far too late that he _really_ wanted Carol McCormick to like her present. He'd never had much of an issue with his in-laws but he'd also never had much of a relationship with them and what if she hated the gift and hated him and asked for her son back?! What if Kenny was in some small way waiting for the verdict from his parents to approve or disapprove the relationship?!

Kyle shook off the panic physically, trying hard not to mind the little girl that was staring at him like he was psycho. He was being stupid. They'd been married for a year now and dating for longer. There was no reason to think that Kenny was less than absolutely committed to their relationship.

He brought out his phone to text for help and thought better of it. He was a grown up. He could buy a stupid mothers day gift without needing to ask for help.

A gentle voice disrupted his glower, "Anything I can help you with sir?"

Goddamnit, Kyle shrugged helplessly, "Any idea what to get for a mother-in-law?"

The shop attendants smile was strained at best, she wasn't paid enough for this, and she glanced at the 'Number 1 Mom' mug still in his hands, "Maybe..." she hazarded, "Not that."

Kyle groaned. He was doomed. "What if I just bought the entire stupid shelf and let her pick?"

The shop keeper almost winced at that one, "Yeah, I wouldn't advice that either."

His wallet wouldn't care much for that decision either. Professors only made so much. Maybe he should have made his students work on this. Assigned the final essay 'what is the best mothers day gift to get a mother-in-law' and watch as _they_ struggle with this question.

It was almost tempting except grading those papers sounded like a living nightmare.

"What sort of thing does your mother-in-law like?"

Kyle struggled for information he had on Carol. Drinking? Both of Kenny's parents had gotten smashed at the wedding. Yelling? They were really loud. Kenny? They'd both actually cried with joy at the ceremony. A stark difference from Kyle's own father that was scornfully disinterested and his mother that cried half out of the loss of her precious bubbula and half because it was expected of her.

"I haven't the slightest idea."

"Maybe just ask your wife for help?"

Kyle sighed, "I don't want to tell him that I can't figure out something this simple."

She gave him a shoulder pat, "That's rough, buddy." and made for a hasty exit.

He didn't blame her. He was being ridiculous. He should just keep it simple and by the book. No one could resent a by the book present. Carol seemed like a nice enough woman, sort of, and she'd raised Kenny so that had to speak towards her character.

"Fuck it." he grabbed his chosen items and shoved them less than kindly into the basket, striding to check out and trying desperately to convince himself that he'd made the best possible decision there were absolutely no possible negative repercussions from making a false decision.

This was the fourth store he'd been to, damnit, and if he wasn't going to hit up every store in South Park for one silly mothers day present. Also he was really getting tired of the high-key judgment he was getting from the staff.

Kenny probably hadn't had any trouble. He was always somehow great at presents.

\----------------------------------------------------

Breakfast in bed is such generic gesture that Kyle shouldn't have been touched.

The terribly made sorry excuse for scrambled eggs should have also been a deal breaker.

The freshly squeezed orange juice that someone had _clearly_ already taken a sip of should be upsetting.

But there's Kenny with a tray, a grin, and just a touch of nerves and it's the best gift Kyle's received in his entire life. He grinned and pulled his husband into a kiss.

-

Most people couldn't make laundry detergent romantic. Most people weren't Kenny.

Kyle had been working on his thesis for weeks now and the smell of his own body odors clinging to the clothes he had no time to clean was starting to become a real distraction but he wasn't about to admit to it.

Never admit defeat, never admit to weakness.

But there's Kenny at his door with a box of detergent, a sweet smile, and a few hours of doing Kyle's laundry while he types furiously, the cup of coffee he required to sustain him never emptying.

He knew he had to marry this man in that moment.

-

Chocolates weren't an unusual Valentines present. Even the home-prepared variety that Kenny was presenting him with.

They were misshapen and tasted more like effort than chocolate. Kenny was trying to be nonchalant about them, pretend he didn't care much whether or not Kyle liked them or not, and persisting that he was giving out chocolates to everyone and it wasn't like Kyle was particularly special.

But it was the pink in his cheeks that gave him away and Kyle suddenly felt like they were the tastiest chocolates he'd ever had in his entire life.

He reached out, cautiously, and held the other boys hand. Kenny's eyes widened a fraction before a smile tore across his face and Kyle wanted a picture. The way that every inch of the handsome face radiated joy and the twinkle in those blue eyes and the slight wrinkle in his nose from the sheer force of the grin.

Kyle already knew he liked Kenny.

In that moment he knew he wouldn't be able to stop.

\----------------------------------------------------

He'd planned it perfectly. He would have brunch at a trendy restaurant with the woman, make pleasant conversation, and give her the present. All the while thanking her for raising such a perfect young man.

She would be flattered and kind and it would be great and he could walk away from the entire situation feeling accomplished.

The best lain plans, he reminded himself, were nothing in the face of McCormick's.

When he'd shown up at the McCormick front door there was yelling from inside. Scrambling could be heard as well as the slosh of water. It took a full minute of knocking before Stuart McCormick came to the door, glaring him down.

Right, Kenny had a dad too, this was fine. He could work with this. Kyle had barely opened his mouth before there was a large hand on his shoulder.

"Hurry up and get your ass in here."

"W-what?"

" _You better be polite to the boy, you stupid fuck!_ " Came the voice of Carol from the other room, several pitches over a normal speaking tone.

The rumble was Kyle's only warning before Stuart's voice yelled back in response, he didn't catch the words because he was too busy guarding his ear drums. He vaguely understood he was being guided inside but the alarmingly loud voice weren't allowing him the time to make sense of it all.

"Sit your ass down." was the only normal voice he heard before the screaming resumed. Kyle sat down obediently and realized three disturbing things in one go. It was a coach. It was a wet coach. It was a wet coach in a house that had seen better days.

He vaguely remembered that Kenny's house was a fucking pigsty from childhood but he wasn't quite prepared for the level of dirt that seemed to be scarred into the structure of the place, the thick smell of mold, dust, and soap. The clattering of dishes could be heard from where he assumed was the kitchen along with the raised voices that he was barely starting to decipher.

" _Did you finish the fucking dishes?!_ "

" _Shut up, how's breakfast?!_ "

" _He's already here! This should have been done ages ago!_ "

It continued along that strain and something clicked in Kyle's head as he stared at the wrapped package he'd prepared for the woman.

The flowers wouldn't really suit the place but sunflowers reminded him of Kenny and he knew the two of them loved their son in their... loud way. The card was sappy and probably a bit too sincere and would probably rot away here. The necklace wouldn't really suit with Carol's normal choice of t-shirt and jeans, just a touch too fancy.

He didn't think his gift would go over well but he stared at the still damp floor and listened to the mildly panicked yells from the other room.

It was a strange realization.

They were trying to impress _him_. They were cleaning the house and preparing, from what he could smell, a burnt breakfast, and worrying and awkward.

It was a strange, aggressive, and awkward kindness from a house devoid of voices other than their own.

Kevin lived out of state, Kenny was in California with him, and Karen was going to school in Denver. Their children had all left and the house was empty and here was their son-in-law visiting.

It was so painfully awkward. The yelling would have scared him straight out the door if he hadn't been somewhat primed for it.

Kyle put down the present on the coffee table, noting that it had a glass top that had long since cracked but probably wasn't going to be replaced, made his way to the kitchen, and offered to help out.

Things weren't going as planned and they probably weren't going to go well, but if there was one quality he'd learned from his husband it was the ability to roll with the punches.

And a small part of him wondered if this awkward kindness was part of what made his husband into the person he was.

Next year he wasn't going in alone though.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was rlly silly lmao im sorry XD


End file.
